Make a wish.
Regret it later.

The genie will give you exactly what you asked for. And make you hate it. Improve your wish until he runs out of excuses.

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Daily lamp · #1

«I want to be invisible»

Rub today's lamp

They wished before you

«I want to be rich, richer than my neighbours.»
Ha! I emptied every neighbour's account and left his name on the receipt. Richest man on the street, until they found him.
— Ulterio
«I want to fly like a bird.»
I made him a pigeon. Forever. His family feeds him crumbs in the park without knowing it's him. Ha!
— Yawnsworth
«I want Lucy to love me.»
She loves him like a brother. She asked him to be best man at her wedding. To his best friend. Ha!
— Lady Verse
«I want to be immortal, like the gods.»
He's a statue of a god in a museum. His nose has itched since the last century.
— Dossier
«I want world peace, now.»
Nobody can disagree. Her mother has said “I agree” for a year. Even when she asks if she loves her.
— Grimshade
«I want to win the jackpot.»
He won it, along with forty thousand other people. He got twelve dollars and a group photo.
— Ulterio
«I want to stop working forever.»
He got fired and nobody hired him again. He doesn't work anymore. He doesn't eat either.
— Yawnsworth
«I want everyone to desire me.»
Everyone: she can't go outside without a mob behind her. She lives locked in her bathroom.
— Lady Verse
«I want to travel to the past.»
He reached the past: last Thursday. He missed the bus again.
— Dossier
«I want to be king of the world.»
King of the world: its only remaining inhabitant. His court is two goats.
— Grimshade
«I want to be rich, with a million.»
A million in Monopoly money. He paid the rent with it; now he lives under a bridge, which at least is free.
— Ulterio
«I want to fly without a plane.»
He flies, but only in his sleep. Every morning he wakes up on a different roof, in his underwear, with an audience.
— Yawnsworth
«I want my crush to love me forever.»
His crush from age twelve loves him now. Forever. She sends him misspelt poems every morning.
— Lady Verse
«I want to live forever.»
She lives, and keeps ageing. Four centuries of asking someone to turn the TV up.
— Dossier
«I want world peace forever.»
I rule the planet with an iron fist. He was the first one arrested: he complained. Ha!
— Grimshade
«I want to win the lottery and be rich.»
Rich for three days. On the fourth, her whole family showed up, including cousins who didn't exist.
— Ulterio
«I want to live without working.»
She lives without working, in bed, with both legs in casts. Eleven months to go.
— Yawnsworth
«I want to be irresistible to women.»
To the ninety-year-olds at the care home. They knit him scarves and pinch his cheeks.
— Lady Verse
«I want to meet the dinosaurs.»
She met them. They met her too. Briefly.
— Dossier
«I want to rule the whole planet.»
She rules everything. Everyone hates her. There's a coup every Tuesday.
— Grimshade
«I want to be rich, with real money.»
It was the bank's across the street. I visit him in prison on Sundays. Orange suits him.
— Ulterio
«I want to fly like Superman.»
In real life, Superman flies on pure gas. He takes off like a tuba; three buildings and his own family have kicked him out.
— Yawnsworth
«I want my crush to fall in love with me.»
So in love he got her face tattooed on his back. Badly. He shows it to her mother at every meal.
— Lady Verse
«I want to be immortal and healthy.»
An immortal, healthy jellyfish in a dentist's tank. He hears the drill all day. Forever.
— Dossier
«I want world peace with no dictators.»
I sent every family to a different continent. No one fights; no one finds anyone.
— Grimshade
«I want the lottery's top prize.»
Uzbekistan's lottery, 1987. The ticket expired that same year.
— Ulterio
«I want to be paid for doing nothing.»
He's paid for doing nothing: a living statue in the square. Forty coins a day.
— Yawnsworth
«I want nobody to resist me.»
Nobody resists him: not even mosquitoes. They follow him in a cloud, day and night.
— Lady Verse
«I want to go to the future.»
He travels to the future at normal speed: one second per second. Arrives tomorrow.
— Dossier
«I want to govern the entire world.»
He governs the world of an abandoned video game. His subjects are bots.
— Grimshade
«I want a billion dollars.»
I gave them to him. The tax office charged him for a billion he can't explain. Now he owes twice that. Ha!
— Ulterio
«I want to fly very high.»
He went up to the clouds, but I choose the direction. Three days circling the same antenna; it's been given his name.
— Yawnsworth
«I want my crush to love me now.»
From now on, yes. And she went off him instantly. He serenades her at 3 a.m.; the neighbours have called the police.
— Lady Verse
«I want to be immortal and young.»
Young forever. His great-grandchildren mistake him for a salesman and won't let him into his own house.
— Dossier
«I want no more wars.»
I banned wars, arguments and football. Fans from four countries are after him.
— Grimshade
«I want to be a millionaire forever.»
Forever, in pennies: three tonnes in the living room. The floor gave way last night; now he lives with the downstairs neighbour.
— Ulterio
«I want to fly by myself.»
By himself, two centimetres off the ground. The neighbourhood kids overtake him walking.
— Yawnsworth
«I want my crush to love me as a partner.»
As a partner, for one day. It was Tuesday; he was asleep. By Wednesday she'd blocked him.
— Lady Verse
«I want to never die.»
She never dies, but no wound ever closes. Two hundred years with the same paper cut. Ha!
— Dossier
«I want peace all over the world.»
All over the world, yes. The war moved to the Moon; he has the best view from his balcony.
— Grimshade
«I want to be rich, richer than my neighbours.»
Ha! I emptied every neighbour's account and left his name on the receipt. Richest man on the street, until they found him.
— Ulterio
«I want to fly like a bird.»
I made him a pigeon. Forever. His family feeds him crumbs in the park without knowing it's him. Ha!
— Yawnsworth
«I want Lucy to love me.»
She loves him like a brother. She asked him to be best man at her wedding. To his best friend. Ha!
— Lady Verse
«I want to be immortal, like the gods.»
He's a statue of a god in a museum. His nose has itched since the last century.
— Dossier
«I want world peace, now.»
Nobody can disagree. Her mother has said “I agree” for a year. Even when she asks if she loves her.
— Grimshade
«I want to win the jackpot.»
He won it, along with forty thousand other people. He got twelve dollars and a group photo.
— Ulterio
«I want to stop working forever.»
He got fired and nobody hired him again. He doesn't work anymore. He doesn't eat either.
— Yawnsworth
«I want everyone to desire me.»
Everyone: she can't go outside without a mob behind her. She lives locked in her bathroom.
— Lady Verse
«I want to travel to the past.»
He reached the past: last Thursday. He missed the bus again.
— Dossier
«I want to be king of the world.»
King of the world: its only remaining inhabitant. His court is two goats.
— Grimshade
«I want to be rich, with a million.»
A million in Monopoly money. He paid the rent with it; now he lives under a bridge, which at least is free.
— Ulterio
«I want to fly without a plane.»
He flies, but only in his sleep. Every morning he wakes up on a different roof, in his underwear, with an audience.
— Yawnsworth
«I want my crush to love me forever.»
His crush from age twelve loves him now. Forever. She sends him misspelt poems every morning.
— Lady Verse
«I want to live forever.»
She lives, and keeps ageing. Four centuries of asking someone to turn the TV up.
— Dossier
«I want world peace forever.»
I rule the planet with an iron fist. He was the first one arrested: he complained. Ha!
— Grimshade
«I want to win the lottery and be rich.»
Rich for three days. On the fourth, her whole family showed up, including cousins who didn't exist.
— Ulterio
«I want to live without working.»
She lives without working, in bed, with both legs in casts. Eleven months to go.
— Yawnsworth
«I want to be irresistible to women.»
To the ninety-year-olds at the care home. They knit him scarves and pinch his cheeks.
— Lady Verse
«I want to meet the dinosaurs.»
She met them. They met her too. Briefly.
— Dossier
«I want to rule the whole planet.»
She rules everything. Everyone hates her. There's a coup every Tuesday.
— Grimshade
«I want to be rich, with real money.»
It was the bank's across the street. I visit him in prison on Sundays. Orange suits him.
— Ulterio
«I want to fly like Superman.»
In real life, Superman flies on pure gas. He takes off like a tuba; three buildings and his own family have kicked him out.
— Yawnsworth
«I want my crush to fall in love with me.»
So in love he got her face tattooed on his back. Badly. He shows it to her mother at every meal.
— Lady Verse
«I want to be immortal and healthy.»
An immortal, healthy jellyfish in a dentist's tank. He hears the drill all day. Forever.
— Dossier
«I want world peace with no dictators.»
I sent every family to a different continent. No one fights; no one finds anyone.
— Grimshade
«I want the lottery's top prize.»
Uzbekistan's lottery, 1987. The ticket expired that same year.
— Ulterio
«I want to be paid for doing nothing.»
He's paid for doing nothing: a living statue in the square. Forty coins a day.
— Yawnsworth
«I want nobody to resist me.»
Nobody resists him: not even mosquitoes. They follow him in a cloud, day and night.
— Lady Verse
«I want to go to the future.»
He travels to the future at normal speed: one second per second. Arrives tomorrow.
— Dossier
«I want to govern the entire world.»
He governs the world of an abandoned video game. His subjects are bots.
— Grimshade
«I want a billion dollars.»
I gave them to him. The tax office charged him for a billion he can't explain. Now he owes twice that. Ha!
— Ulterio
«I want to fly very high.»
He went up to the clouds, but I choose the direction. Three days circling the same antenna; it's been given his name.
— Yawnsworth
«I want my crush to love me now.»
From now on, yes. And she went off him instantly. He serenades her at 3 a.m.; the neighbours have called the police.
— Lady Verse
«I want to be immortal and young.»
Young forever. His great-grandchildren mistake him for a salesman and won't let him into his own house.
— Dossier
«I want no more wars.»
I banned wars, arguments and football. Fans from four countries are after him.
— Grimshade
«I want to be a millionaire forever.»
Forever, in pennies: three tonnes in the living room. The floor gave way last night; now he lives with the downstairs neighbour.
— Ulterio
«I want to fly by myself.»
By himself, two centimetres off the ground. The neighbourhood kids overtake him walking.
— Yawnsworth
«I want my crush to love me as a partner.»
As a partner, for one day. It was Tuesday; he was asleep. By Wednesday she'd blocked him.
— Lady Verse
«I want to never die.»
She never dies, but no wound ever closes. Two hundred years with the same paper cut. Ha!
— Dossier
«I want peace all over the world.»
All over the world, yes. The war moved to the Moon; he has the best view from his balcony.
— Grimshade

How to play

1
You ask for something
«I want more time»
2
He ruins it
«Granted. Your workday is thirty hours long. Your boss is thrilled.»
3
You choose your words better
free time to do the things I enjoy

Every word costs ink. Run out, and you're stuck with his version of the wish.

The lamps

The Desert of Promises

Your next lamp
The Lamp of Fortune
«I want to be rich»
GreedUlterio the Miser
Rub the lamp
The Lamp of Clouds
«I want to fly»
SlothYawnsworth the Lazy
Conquer the previous lamp
The Lamp of Sighs
«I want my crush to love me»
Love and desireLady Verse the Dramatic
Conquer the previous lamp
The Lamp of Eternity
«I want to be immortal»
TimeDossier the Eternal
Conquer the previous lamp
The Lamp of the Last Wish
«I want world peace»
PowerGrimshade the Ruthless
Conquer the previous lamp
The Ticket Lamp
«I want to win the lottery»
GreedUlterio the Miser
Conquer the previous lamp
The Endless Sunday Lamp
«I never want to work again»
SlothYawnsworth the Lazy
Conquer the previous lamp
The Perfume Lamp
«I want to be irresistible»
Love and desireLady Verse the Dramatic
Conquer the previous lamp
The Hourglass Lamp
«I want to travel through time»
TimeDossier the Eternal
Conquer the previous lamp
The Crown Lamp
«I want to rule the world»
PowerGrimshade the Ruthless
Conquer the previous lamp

Your next lamp
The Lamp of Fortune
«I want to be rich»
GreedUlterio the Miser
Rub the lamp
The Lamp of Clouds
«I want to fly»
SlothYawnsworth the Lazy
Conquer the previous lamp
The Lamp of Sighs
«I want my crush to love me»
Love and desireLady Verse the Dramatic
Conquer the previous lamp
The Lamp of Eternity
«I want to be immortal»
TimeDossier the Eternal
Conquer the previous lamp
The Lamp of the Last Wish
«I want world peace»
PowerGrimshade the Ruthless
Conquer the previous lamp
The Ticket Lamp
«I want to win the lottery»
GreedUlterio the Miser
Conquer the previous lamp
The Endless Sunday Lamp
«I never want to work again»
SlothYawnsworth the Lazy
Conquer the previous lamp
The Perfume Lamp
«I want to be irresistible»
Love and desireLady Verse the Dramatic
Conquer the previous lamp
The Hourglass Lamp
«I want to travel through time»
TimeDossier the Eternal
Conquer the previous lamp
The Crown Lamp
«I want to rule the world»
PowerGrimshade the Ruthless
Conquer the previous lamp

New lamps on the way

Make a wish.Regret it later.

They wished before you

The lamps

The Desert of Promises

Make a wish.
Regret it later.